Phunny Passions
by MiguelFan
Summary: A humorous look on the characters of Passions


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Simone, you gotta help me think of another idea to steal  
Miguel away from Charity" Kay whined once again.  
Simone and Kay were hiding next to the staircase spying  
on Miguel and Charity. Kay peeked over and saw Charity  
sitting in Miguel's lap, they were looking into each other's  
eyes like sick puppies again. Then all of a sudden  
Charity's innocent smile turned into a frown as she stated  
to Miguel that she had yet ANOTHER freckin' premonition.  
Miguel then threw her off his lap and said, "Charity, what  
the hell is wrong with you?, you have all these damn  
premonitions all the time and it's annoying me like f*ck!!"   
  
"But, Miguel, I don't know why I have these premonitions,  
but I'm not crazy, I'M PSYCHO!!!", Charity said as she had  
an evil crazy look in her eye.   
  
"Yep, your right Charity, your INSANE, you need to go into  
the looney bin. Hell I should too right about now for  
staying with you so damn long! you haven't even gone to  
2nd base with me yet! Don't you understand my needs  
too? I need to get f*cking laid already dammit!!" Miguel  
screamed at her.   
  
"Miguel, I didn't know that I made you feel that way, I'm  
sorry Miguel, I'm so sorry!" ,Charity screeched.   
  
"You are such a jinx Charity!, what are you doing? You  
keep having these damn premonitions and you tryed to  
kill me like how many times?!, screw this sh*t...I'M MOVING  
ON!" Miguel lastly said before he stormed out the door.   
  
Charity was left on the stairs all by herself crying and  
sobbing more than usual. Kay and Simone heard the  
whole thing and Kay's grin spread from ear to ear. "Just  
think Simone, now Miguel is all mine!, no more stupid  
Charity in my way!" Simone gave her dissaproving look  
and waved her finger at Kay.   
  
"Kay, look at your cousin!, she's so hurt. You have to go  
over there with me to comfort her. And come on Kay,  
she's your own cousin! you can't take the man she loves  
away from her", Simone lectured Kay.   
  
"The hell I can't!, and you shouldn't even be talking  
Simone Russell!, your trying to take Chad away from your  
own SISTER! He's doesn't even love you anyway,  
REJECT! he loves Whitney.", Kay snapped back.   
  
Simone was left with a confused look on her face while  
Kay went out the door to go see Miguel. Simone, being a  
good friend to Charity, went over to the staircase to  
comfort her. "Charity, I'm so sorry what just happened  
between you and Miguel. I know he still loves you and you  
two will make up, he was just upset I guess." Simone said  
reassuring her.   
  
Kay knocked on Miguel's door but there was no answer.  
She knew where the house key was hidden in the front  
yard so she let herself in. She looked in the living room, no  
Miguel in sight. She looked down the hallway, no Miguel in  
sight. She looked in the kitchen, then his room, no Miguel  
in sight. Then she heard some loud music coming from  
Theresa's room, so she looked in there. Kay was shocked  
when she saw Miguel dressed up in full drag singing  
"moving on" by Mya. He quickly dropped the microphone  
and ripped off the dress.   
  
"Oh hi Kay. Um....what are you doing here?!" Miguel  
nervously blurted out.   
  
"Uh....I just wanted to..um, well. Okay, Miguel, I have to tell  
you something very important." Kay managed to say in  
one breath.   
  
"Of course, Kay. Sit down" MIguel pointed to Theresa's  
bed and quickly kicked the dress and heels under the bed.  
  
  
"Miguel, oh Miguel, I've waited so long to tell you this. But  
now is a better time then ever ,since your not with Charity  
any more. I love you Miguel. I always loved you." Kay  
spoke softly as tears ran down her cheeks,realizing that  
her secret was out.   
  
"Oh Kay, I know you love me, I love you too. You're a great  
friend." Miguel said as he smiled and put his arm around  
her.   
  
"No you f*cking idiot!!!, I mean, no....I love you more than a  
friend. I want to be your girlfriend Miguel, I can give you so  
much more than she did." Kay despretely said as she  
looked yearningly into his eyes.   
  
"You mean....I can finally get laid?.....yeeeeeaaa!!" Miguel  
said as he jumped up and down like a fool.   
  
"Yes Miguel, I can give that to you, I can give you that and  
a lot more." Kay said as she took off her jacket.   
  
Meanwhile, back at the Bennett house, Charity and  
Simone were on the living room couch talking. Charity  
was still crying like a pathetic baby and Simone was being  
all friendly and telling her that Miguel is no good for her  
anyway. Then all of a sudden they both heard loud sirens  
outside. A squad of 20 busted down the door and grabbed  
Simone from the couch. "This is the Fashion police, and  
you've been busted, big time pal. It's our duty to stop  
Harmony citizens from wearing outrageous, out of style  
clothing. You have violated code 1573, wearing bright  
oranges with greens and such. Every word you say may  
and will be used againist you in the court of law. You have  
the rights to have an attorney present, if you can not  
afford one, one will be appointed to you." the fashion  
officer stated.   
  
Simone screamed as they dragged her out the door.  
Charity, being a dumb blonde said, "Wow!, are we on  
cops?" Grace and Sam rushed down the stairs hearing all  
the comotion after screwing in their bedroom and asked  
Charity what happened. "The cops came and took  
Simone!, not the Harmony PD though, it was the  
something police.....oh yeah the fashion police!" Charity  
explained, the best she could.   
  
"Ha ha, I knew that girl was wearing too much crappy  
clothes", Sam and Grace both said as they snickered  
hysterically.   
  
At the Lopez-Fitzgerald's house, Miguel and Kay just  
finished their "bussiness" in Theresa's room. "Wow, Kay,  
that was awesome!, Charity would of never done all that!"  
Miguel said in amazement.   
  
"Why, thank you Miguel!, I know I'm better than that  
blonde trailer park trash of a hoe Charity." Kay answered,  
then they both started making out again and fell on the  
floor. Then they heard a knock at the front door. They  
quickly got up and rushed to the door. It was the ever so  
suspicious Tabitha from next door who always seemed to  
appear with her stupid doll she named Timmy. Miguel  
answered the door and Tabitha asked if she could come  
in. Miguel directed her to the couch and he and Kay asked  
her why she came to visit. She said that she heard all the  
commotion at the Bennett house with the sirens and  
everything and when she went to ask someone there what  
happened no one was there. So she decided to come to  
the Lopez-Fitzgerald house. Kay rolled her eyes at Tabitha  
thinking " Damn that old woman....I could be screwing  
Miguel, again".   
  
Then Kay and Miguel went into the kitchen to go get  
lemonade for Tabitha. Timmy, of course, magically came  
alive and started walking and talking. But of course, Kay  
and Miguel didn't hear Tabitha talking to anyone in the  
next room when it's so obvious. When they came back  
with a pitcher of lemonade the phone rang. It was Pilar,  
she was telling Miguel she'd be home late from the Crane  
mansion and to tell Luis and Theresa that. Tabitha stood  
up to pour more lemonade in her glass and being such a  
old clumsy ass she fell on the floor. Kay and Miguel  
rushed over to her to help her up and Tim tim came alive.  
Kay and Miguel saw the doll walking and talking and they  
were in awe. "But...but...but this can't be! he's a doll and  
he's walking and talking!....AHHHH it's Chucky!!", Kay  
screamed in horror as she picked up a mallet and  
whacked it several times on the head.   
  
"Woah Kay, what is that thing?, OhMyGosh it's chucky!!  
Come on ya'll let's run!" Miguel screamed in a high  
pitched tone,then ran his sissy ass out the door. "Tim  
Tim" was unconscious from the mallet and Tabitha was  
still on the floor. After Timmy came to, Tabitha scowled  
him for coming alive. Then to punish him, she took fluffy  
out of her "magic" bag and threw it on him. He screamed  
and cried while fluffy scratched his little doll eyes out. He  
died as a doll and got recyled at the plastic center.  
Simone, was never let out on bail and stayed locked up  
forever. Charity really did go insane and jumped off a cliff  
and died. Tabitha was left all alone without a friend in the  
world and decided to hook up with that Santa Claus she  
had her paws all over. Kay and Miguel still were in love  
and Kay got pregnant with his child. Grace and Sam are  
somewhere as we speak, screwing....welp, this is the end  
of my story. HOPE U LIKED IT!!!!! 


End file.
